Until you're mine
by Windymist
Summary: 'Why did you betray me Ayuzawa' . 'Because i love him', she said 'prove it', and he kissed her. 2 years later fate has brought them together again, the only difference was she wasn't married anymore, she was free to fall in love again, but will her heart justify it?
1. Love Betrayed

CHAPTER 1

He weaved his drink and took a big sip. The cold yet burning sensation filled his throat; he drank the whole glass then ordered again.

_This was his fifth..._

The waiter refilled his glass as he stared into the amber liquid pouring out; small bubbles erupting from it, happiness he realized was a lot like these bubbles, one second they were strong and stable and the next second they burst, he never realized when his little bubble popped, was it the day she told him she was getting married or was it today, when he actually saw her getting married and realized that he'd lost her forever.

Did anyone ever tell these bubbles that their presence was transient, cause no one sure as hell didn't tell him that he'll have to be the best man at his brothers wedding , his brother who was marrying the girl he loved more that anyone or anything.

He drained his glass.

The strong alcohol dulled his senses but not his pain

Pain, ah what a beautiful word and his favorite companion.

_Pain….. Pain …Pain_, he said them like a lullaby, the syllables dancing on his tongue. It was the only emotion he could feel, the only emotion left in his life.

One moment he had everything a man ever wanted, and the next he was a drifter with no possession. His heart the place that was once filled with love and trust has now become a playing ground for hurt, pain and betrayal. He soon realized that they'll be snatched away from him too, until there was nothing left, until he was an empty shell. Void of any emotions.

Damn... She looked so beautiful in that white dress. So beautiful that when she walked down the aisle he forgot his pain, he forgot the reason why she was walking down the aisle. To marry his brother. He spit out the words.

All he wanted to do wad keep staring at her, hide her away if possible from any unscrupulous male's gaze.

But she wasn't his to be stared at, wasn't his to steal, not anymore.

She laughed her heart out. She believed that if she pretended to be happy then someday she might actually believe it. She smiled at everyone who looked at her, and why shouldn't she? Today was her wedding day, a day every girl dreamed of after they reached womanhood.

With every smile, with every laugh, she was losing a piece of herself, dying a little more inside. It wasn't a fast hurried kind of death, though she wished it would be, it was one of those slow poisonous kind.

The venom spreading through her entire body making her weak, fragile, making her lose a little part of herself with every breath she took.

Was it possible to perish from a broken heart, she supposed no, because if it did, then she would have been dead by now,

It's amazing how the internal pain can almost become physical until she could almost feel her heart collapsing.

She didn't dare look at him; she had betrayed him, raised his hopes then crushed them like child's play. She couldn't even say sorry, because sorry can't mend everything, and she wondered if it could mend his heart.

_Sometimes it's not enough to be forgiven by someone, sometimes you have to forgive your self first._

And that she could never do, she had put his hopes on a pedestal then broke it, shattered them like glasses.

When the words 'I do' came out of her lips all she wanted to do was scream. Scream at him …

_I love you, I'll always do._

_Please forgive me_

_Please forgive me_

_Just… please…_

She was so pathetic that she wanted to laugh at her own misery. She had brought this on herself and so she would face the consequences. She never should have let her heart out on a sleeve, never should have fallen in love but she did, and heavens knew nothing could make her regret it.

The number of laughs shared with him, all the memories that'll haunt her every second of everyday, all the kisses, all the love. She blinked back tears when some taped on her shoulders, trying to pretend that this was the happiest day of her life, but her smile soon faded away when she saw him.

'Not happy to see me, are you?' his voice was mocking her.

She sighed, she didn't wanted to deal with this right now, so she ignored his remark,  
'what do you want Usui?'

'Well why, we should be dancing right now', she looked around and sure enough there were couples dancing and laughing, and they were the only two people incongruous.

He pulled her into his arms; and they started the slow rhythmic motions of their feet.

'Let me go' she hissed.

'Don't wanna' he said childishly. He was being the same playful idiot he was so famous for.

They were close and the heat radiating from his body was too uncomfortable.

She kept a passive face, as he swings her around in his arms. 'You look beautiful, by the way'

And she blushed, 'that was the only thing missing actually, or else you would have been perfect'.

'What do you mean?'

'That blush, it wasn't there when you walked down the aisle, in fact, you looked like you were going to be sacrificed'.

'How could you say that? I am very happy'

'Yes I can see that, you showed your perfect 32 teeth to almost everyone present here', she smacked him playfully on the arms and started laughing, 'you are only being jealous'

She bit her tongue as soon as she said that. Why did she have to go and ruin this perfect moment for all of them.

'Resentful is the word you're looking for'.

'How about aggrieved and bitter and angry' she said.

He stared at her for sometime, then said, I'll say 'miserable '

She choked a cry, but said nothing.

Seconds passed, honestly why was this dance so long? She had danced with hundreds of guests and she hadn't felt this tired with anyone of them; she tried concentrate on the fresh bouquets of orchids that hung in the wall.

'I love you' it wasn't a statement, it was a declaration.

Her eyes widened as she started at them, her eyes flooded with tears. Repressed feelings surfaced as she tried hard not to break down right there.

'Do-don't say that' in her state she almost forgot to watch out for hungry priers, thankfully the music was too loud.

The song ended and she pushed him away from her and left the hall.

The streak of mascara ran down her cheeks, she faced the mirror before her. Luckily no one was present in the washroom.

She looked terrible, with puffed eyes and the ruined makeup, she didn't looked like a bride at all.. in fact she looked as if she could get a lead role in some freaky horror movie.

She pulled out a tissue from her purse and started cleaning, 'stupid make up, stupid superfluous tears, stupid dress...' She blabbered on, as she heard the door creak.

'Let me help you with that', came his silky voice,

She groaned 'get out of here, this is the ladies room'

'Did you really think that this could keep me away?', he came close to her. She stumbled back until she felt the cold tiles of the sink.

He came closer and put his hands on the wall caging her. She tried to push him away but in vain.

'Go away'

'Not before you answer my question', he said in a composed voice

'And what is that?' she sassily asked

'Why?'

'Huh?'

'Why did you marry him? Why didn't you tell me? Why did you betray me?'

'That's HIS questions' she scoffed.

'Damn it Misaki, answer me', his hands were on her shoulders now, and were hurting her.

'Because I love him, and before you ASK me to say that staring into you're eyes I've already said it'.

'I love him. Him and him only.'

'I don't believe you.'

'You don't have to; who ever told you that you're opinion matters'.

'Prove it.'

'How?'

He kissed her then, not some hungry, wild kiss, but a soft slow, has- the –ability- to- melt –your- legs kinda kiss.

She could have resisted if he'd have forced himself on her, but he didn't. His lips were tender like feathers, but passionate as sin.

She couldn't push him away. She just couldn't. That single kiss had the ability to make her forget everything, where were they?, why were they here?. Every rational thought flew out of the window, and she kissed him with the same intensity, the fact that she was someone's wife didn't seem to matter, the only thing that did was the fact that tonight she was his, and he hers.

This single kiss will let her live her life as someone else's wife, he parted her lips with his tongue and plunged it in and she let him, meeting his passion head on.

She will cherish this kiss for the rest of her life, her last kiss; with the person she loved more than anyone, more than anything.

He pulled back as they struggled to breathe.

'You love me' he said with a smirk.

Yes' she smiled. God knows what was so funny about the situation, but she couldn't fight the little bubble of happiness that swamped inside her.

'Come with me' his eyes were full of hopes.

She gaped at him 'where to?'

'Anywhere, we'll leave this country, go somewhere where no one knows us, it'll be just you and me'

'I am someone's wife takumi, and as much as I want to , I cant. I have responsibilities'.

'To hell with responsibilities', he looked mad at the point of breaking something.

'I am sorry, but I can't.'

And she left without a second glance, never to look at his direction again.

**A.N- alright, I told the readers of THM that I'll publish the next chapter in April, don't worry I will publish it in April, maybe on the 2****nd**** week. So as a token of appreciation, I wrote this ff, don't worry Misa – Usui will be together in the end, give me lots of reviews and I might hurry up my chapters.**

**As for second time, I am working on those… gimme loads of reviews to encourage me to write more…**

**Btw, not that anybody cares, but I just gave my annual exam, pray for me that I get promoted. **

**Puh-leez.**

**With love**

**Windy Mist **


	2. Love Restless

Chapter 2

At this point of her life, fate has played the worst joke ever. She never wished for any of this to happen, still she couldn't change fate.

She was pregnant with his child for god's sake and he was lying there lifeless, unmoving ,dead.

Gerard walker was a healthy person, he jogged everyday, ate a 3 course meal , so why did he have to die, leaving everyone in a state of shock, leaving Misaki alone to raise his child.

Her hands trembled as she placed it on her still flat belly, why did this happen, she had asked the same question for the hundredth time in vain, because no one could say anything that will make any sense to her.

She stared at his cold hard body lying motionless in the coffin, true, she hadn't loved him but she still didn't want him to die, , over the two years that she had stayed with him she had developed a fair amount a respect for him and she knew how much his death shook her. A part of her mind simply couldn't believe it. she still remembered the first time he brought her a bouquet of roses on valentines day, getting nervous like a teenager, that was a day she realized that life wouldn't be so hard with him.

_Yes there will always be a piece missing in her happiness , but maybe just maybe, she would survive._

Tears formed in her eyes as she thought about him and the fact that she had lost a dear friend and her husband today.

Someone placed a hand on her shoulder .

'He was a good person' Patricia said wiping a tear .

Misaki kept quite. She tried saying something that will make her feel better but no words came out.

Patricia was Gerard's mother and her dear friend, over the years she had developed a vast amount of love an compassion for the older woman. She was sure that Patricia understood what she felt , but she doubted she could share her feelings with anybody.

A lone tear made its way through her chin.

Just when she had thought that she might have everything figured out in her life, it just snapped , what little balance she had was taken away from her.

She didn't know what to do anymore. She was lost and there was no one to show her the way.

She has never seen it rain this hard, she had stayed in England for 2 and a half years now ,but she had never seen it so bloody cruel.

The lighting shook the ground as they placed the coffin in the opening, she didn't hide from the rain, the good thing about the rain was at least it could mask her tears.

She wanted to scream, hit something, wanted to blame someone but she had only herself to blame she couldn't explain why she felt that way, all she knew that it was her fault altogether.

She thought about the unborn child, what was she gonna do with it. She didn't knew anything about parenting , and suddenly she was scared.

How in the world was she gonna raise a child alone, of course its silly to say, she was not alone, there will be Patricia and Gerard grandmother and lots of other people to help her but then why did she felt so alone.

And she realized why , there will be no one to celebrate her baby's first word , her first teeth , every little joy that came with the child, if it was only about her she would have left the country ,away from everything , would have hid herself from the world, would've started a job , there were too many would 've's but alas! They weren't possible anymore.

She hadn't told anybody about the pregnancy yet and she wondered how they would react, they would be happy yeah.

But what about her, did she even want the child,

What a stupid question , of course she wanted the baby, it was her flesh and blood, she loved it already , and maybe she wont be able to be the best mother but she sure will try her best.

Another thunder flashed and she saw a tree break into two,

Maybe that's what her life has become now hollow and empty, but she had a reason to live, she murmured placing her hands in her abdomen.

Two days later Misaki wandered around the halls of the castle alone like a zombie, she still hadn't told them about the child inside her, her reason it wasn't the right time yet.

Her life had become a routine, she was tired of all the drama.

The lawyers were asking her questions that she wasn't ready to answer right now. Questions that were too personal.

Everyone was worried about her, and Misaki was sick, she was sick of all the drama, even if she wanted to they couldn't let her forget it, and the worst part was the way they looked at her, she hated their pity, she even overheard some of Patricia's friends saying "oh! what a tragedy not even two years in marriage and already a widow".

Her head was blowing up, "leave me alone" she had screamed inside her head.

She just wanted her life to go back to normal, before any of this happened, before she even got married, when she was a child with no worries.

She was 23 and a widow with a child inside her.

And it took her two weeks to get used to the fact that she was not going to be alone for the rest of her life.

She'll have a responsibility, someone to take care of and maybe this will take care of the emptiness inside her.

_Maybe..._

A certain blonde stared at the horizon ahead of him, the scene was magnificent, the red sun was halfway dipped under the clear aquamarine waters of the silent sea, and there was melancholy all around.

He sighed.

He had tried his best to forget her, knowing she was happy with the person she loved, he had tried.

But just couldn't do it, he had tried to push her away, tried to hate her , if that what it takes to get her out of his mind. But his love for her only grew. It became stronger day by day.

There were days when her thoughts didn't haunt her, when her kisses didn't linger, and he was okay, but sometimes the feeling became too much.

_Sometimes the feelings that comes back again and again are the once that never left._

He used to punch the wall across him, to take out the frustration and anger inside him and in that process he used to bleed, but the physical pain was nothing compared to the pain she had given him, a scar he would wear for life, a wound that couldn't be healed.

He had burned every piece of memory he had of her, the scarf, the pictures, her number, but how could he burn the face that was craved inside his heart.

The more he tried to suppress his emotions the more they had surfaced and every time he saw a girl with raven black hair and amber eyes his heart used to skip a beat and he hated himself.

She had betrayed him, but he was still madly in love with her.

And he had tried almost everything to not think about her anymore without any result.

He was sick of his life and he only blamed one person.

_Misaki..._

_A knock on the door brought him back from his chain of thoughts._

"_Enter"_

A petite girl entered his chamber, she was scared, she should be. Due to his dark mood and fiery temper he was respected and scared by most of his workers.

"What is it?"

"A letter came for you today, they said it was most urgent or else I wouldn't have disturbed you sir."

He put out his hand and she left right away after leaving him alone with the white envelope.

There was no name on it, and it curiosity only increased.

He tore it open and a piece of paper came out.

_Dear Takumi,_

_How are you? This may come as a shock to you but there is no way to sugar coat what I have to say, Gerard's funeral is taking place on the 4th of the month, and I know you have lots of questions In your mind which I could only answer when we meet in person. I sincerely hope that you could make it in time._

_Yours _

_Patricia_

His hands were shaking, and the letter fell on the floor, Gerard dead? His elder brother ? How could this happen?why wasn't he informed earlier? Was it a murder? How was Misaki?

Thousands of questions run across his mind until he was sure his head would blow.

He got up from his chair with a firm resolve, he needed to go back.

Something he had been avoiding for two years. He had to go back. He had to see her, she might not want to see him anymore but he cant not see her.

And with only one goal in his mind he flew on the very first jet to Britain.

**Author's note- Okay , so I know you wanna kill me for this late update but the thing is that I was freaking busy and I ran out of ideas for this one.  
Plus it was written in a jiffy so I don't know whether it is up to your expectations.**

**Thanks for waiting this long, reviewing and supporting me.**

**And those who didn't well, thanks for just being here.**

**Sayonara**

**love **

**Windymist**


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